Investigation uncovered

I was giving my money to the monkey foundation until a Dateline NBC
investigation found that the people in charge were spanking the monkeys!

I then changed my mind :-)


"Frank" <fb@nospam.cmm> wrote in message
news:etyymljqHHA.4004@TK2MSFTNGP05.phx.gbl...
> Tiberius wrote:
>> http://www.thenixedreport.com/articl...icrosofty.html
>>
>>
>>
> Oh what a wonderful article!
> I have been converted to the free everything movement.
> I want to will my financial fortune to RS or the religious movement he
> started.
> Praise the Lord!
> Oh, wait a minute...if this is a free movement..who needs money?
> I changed my mind...I'll give my fortune to the monkey foundation.
> Frank

Do you need new monkeys? I'm looking for a career change... Resume on
request.

John

(No Spamkers Please! And no spankings!)

Karen Jane Panze wrote:

> I was giving my money to the monkey foundation until a Dateline NBC
> investigation found that the people in charge were spanking the monkeys!
>
> I then changed my mind :-)
>
>
> "Frank" <fb@nospam.cmm> wrote in message
> news:etyymljqHHA.4004@TK2MSFTNGP05.phx.gbl...
>
>> Tiberius wrote:
>>
>>> http://www.thenixedreport.com/articl...icrosofty.html
>>>
>>>
>>>
>> Oh what a wonderful article!
>> I have been converted to the free everything movement.
>> I want to will my financial fortune to RS or the religious movement he
>> started.
>> Praise the Lord!
>> Oh, wait a minute...if this is a free movement..who needs money?
>> I changed my mind...I'll give my fortune to the monkey foundation.
>> Frank
>
>

here is the story behind one particular resident monkey of this newsgroup

Enjoy....

----

Did you get the monkey brain?

YES!

Is it fresh?

Very! I have it on ice for now...

Great.! It's a shame that we are not allowed to use a human brain.. But
regulations are regulations.

Regulations are regulations but you are bending them a bit aren't you?

Well no one will know about our little "plan".

I think they will catch on sooner or later.

Look we have to test the brain, and we don't have a robotic or android body
to place it in and for it to interact with the real world.. our only option
is to connect it to cyberspace. the internet, and see how it will interact
with the other users that are online.

Ok I can understand that. but don't you think that eventually someone will
catch on that that the monkey brain is not a real human being? I mean we
have implanted a human life history as artificial memories into it, but a
monkey is a monkey..! And what if someone reveals the truth to it?

Look first of all, the people interacting with it will just think it's a
stupid user.. you know there are quite a few normal humans who are like that
in cyberspace already! And then even if someone tells the brain that it is a
monkey or not human, it will not believe it!

Yes I guess you are right. It has a whole memory of living as a human,
growing up, working having friends.. Oh noo not friends ..we deleted that
code remember? Oh yes. good.



Ok ok. we have to test it you are right. Where shall we connect it? How
about on a forum?

No not a forum! They have strict regulations and we don't want to confine
the reactions of the brain. We want it to be able to express itself freely
in any way it wants. That's how we are really going to study its reactions.

Ok how about a newsgroup?

YEAH! Great Idea, but which one?

I think one with a lot of traffic, like the Microsoft vista newsgroup! I
have already installed the devoted love to that stinky OS vista as one of
its memories, remember?

Oh yeah! Great idea!

What do you say we take turns in the newsgroup stimulating the brain to
respond?

YES we need to do that so we can see its reactions. So I guess we must have
a username in the newsgroup.

Fantastic idea. pick a nick.

How bout Darth Vader?

Nahh to corny..

How about James Tiberius Kirk?

Plain Tiberius is great! I love it!

I feel kinda sorry for the brain, not only did we remove it from the poor
monkey, we erased it, we installed fake memory and now we are picking on it?

Nonsense! This is all a scientific experiment. You should not let your
compassion get in the way of scientific knowledge seeking.

I guess you are right. but you know we must also do the ultimate test.

Oh whats that?

the ULTIMATE TEST, remember?.. We must reveal to it that it is not really a
human.. only a monkey brain , in a jar in our laboratory, connected to a
computer with internet access.

We will do that of course to see its reaction. I believe it will deny
everything! HAHAA!

What shall we call it?

What?

The name.. it has to have a name to be in the newsgroup.

Ohhh.. well.. lets see.. Normally the name of our project is FR.OZEN,
A.RTIFICIAL, N.ERON, C.YBERNETICS, or FRANC.

FRANK!!!! YES that's it!

Let's toast to our new creation and plug it in!

LETS!




"Karen Jane Panze" <karen@leftwing.com> wrote in message
news:%232XVvwqqHHA.4104@TK2MSFTNGP06.phx.gbl...
>I was giving my money to the monkey foundation until a Dateline NBC
>investigation found that the people in charge were spanking the monkeys!
>
> I then changed my mind :-)
>
>
> "Frank" <fb@nospam.cmm> wrote in message
> news:etyymljqHHA.4004@TK2MSFTNGP05.phx.gbl...
>> Tiberius wrote:
>>> http://www.thenixedreport.com/articl...icrosofty.html
>>>
>>>
>>>
>> Oh what a wonderful article!
>> I have been converted to the free everything movement.
>> I want to will my financial fortune to RS or the religious movement he
>> started.
>> Praise the Lord!
>> Oh, wait a minute...if this is a free movement..who needs money?
>> I changed my mind...I'll give my fortune to the monkey foundation.
>> Frank
>